thedressingroom | (no subject)

(no subject)

[ He hasn't gone anywhere. In fact, he hasn't exactly moved, or eaten, or spoken, since he has yet to hear what he's wishing to hear. Lucas sits against the wall wrapped in a coat, staring at a screen that he's managed to make show all of the Twilight films on repeat (yes, seriously). ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ He dutifully lifts another forkful, pausing it in front of his mouth to speak. ]

What is in New York for you?

Everything.

[ He looks up at Brody, mutely asking for more explanation. ]

Easy died.

[ His expression changes several different times before returning to his basic blank. ]

I am sorry.

Mm.

So I went on a bender.

[ He looks for a moment as if he is going to put the fork back down on the plate. A deal is a deal, though; it isn't as if he expected to hear wonderful things. Lucas takes another bite but he works it in his mouth with an expression as if he is trying not to gag. Eventually, he manages to swallow it. ]

What do you remember of it?

Too much.

I would listen.

Talking makes it worse.

[ He puts down his fork and reaches out toward Brody, hoping to gather him closer. ]

[ he stays very still, but he lets him move him. ]

[ Lucas pulls Brody into the crook of his arm and wraps himself around him, arm curved toward his back, fingers spidering up into his hair. His eyes are open as he speaks into his ear. ]

I will always assist in any way that I am able.

[ he doesn't move for a long time. then, slowly, he puts his face against lucas' shoulder. ]

I know.

I understand there is likely nothing to help with such a thing.

There's something wrong with me. I mean, like... all the way inside. No one can tell me why I'm like this.

No, you can't fix me.

[ His grip slackens for a moment in surprise. ]

I do not seek to "fix" you.

Mm.

You are in pain. I do not claim the ability to help with this, always. I do not expect it to cease.

I want only to try to assist. To know, to try, to continue to do so. If only to share this load, I would do this.

[ he rubs his cheek against his shoulder. ]

I don't want to think anymore.

[ He presses his lips to Brody's forehead and speaks against it after a pause. ] These films seem to help with this goal.

[ he seems to notice that for the first time -- ] You were watching Twilight?

Unendingly.

There are easier ways to self-mutilate, you know.

[ ... he's joking. ]

[ He smiles for a moment, the creases it causes in his cheeks shifting Brody's hair. ]

It caused me to feel closer to you.