(no subject)

[fuckvampires]

Apparently I suck at people. Whatever. When the hell do you give someone space versus getting involved? If you're pretty sure you fucked both of those up, what then?

Right, fine, too serious. Name me your favorite porno or something.

Comments

[pridegoesbefore]

Ignore their existence and be quietly miserable, or suck up your pride and be quietly present.

[fuckvampires]

Okay. Did the latter, it weren't enough.

[pridegoesbefore]

Then I daresay you'll be forced to wallow in misery until said person comes to you.

[fuckvampires]

Said person is a teenager I'm living with. Correct me if you think I'm wrong, but don't that obligate me to do a little bit more than that?

[pridegoesbefore]

In a parental capacity?

[fuckvampires]

In a 'nobody else was around to give a damn' capacity.

[pridegoesbefore]

I think that motivational phrase about "if at first you don't succeed" could probably apply here. Perseverance pays off, and so on.

[stormbelow]

He was just here -- you didn't talk to him then?

[fuckvampires]

No.

[stormbelow]

Well, it's not like anything's going to be different overnight.

[fuckvampires]

This game I know how to play. You tell them not to do something, they tell you to fuck off and do it just to spite you. Used to do it to my dad all the time.

[stormbelow]

Do you tell him not to do something, or do you tell him that you don't want him to do something?

[fuckvampires]

[he sighs.]

Don't tell nobody, okay? The reason he took off ain't 'cause I got mad 'bout his disappearing.

[surface_level]

You know already what my answer to this would be. [ The first question, not the second. Let's not go there. ]

[fuckvampires]

Not really.

[surface_level]

It apparently is to attempt all, and to fail at all.

[fuckvampires]

Well, ain't like it's easy.

[surface_level]

No. It is not, when being without them is not an option.

[fuckvampires]

You can't kill yourself over it.

[witchglove]

You start over. With space, if that's what they want.

You can really only go off what people tell you, you know? [ She should probably assess her own emotional standpoint on inquiries like these a little more thoroughly, but Sirin has strong help!! everything!! inclinations, and it hits a few of her personal history buttons. ] And you can keep saying, "if you need anything," keep letting someone know you're there for them, but it depends on what kind of communication you're getting back.

And by that ostensibly generalized 'you' I actually mean 'me, because I had to learn this through repeatedly fucking it up myself.' [ Her tone is self-deprecating as all hell, but at least she's forthright? ]

[fuckvampires]

Right, I get this, but I'm dealing with a moody goth teenager at the height of his moody goth phrase who's upset that I'm upset when he fucks off and don't call home.

I mean, if this were an adult, then yeah. But. Teenagers.

[witchglove]

Mm, I see. [ That adds some difficulty to things. ]

Are you his family?

[fuckvampires]

Might as well be.

[witchglove]

[ That, to Sirin, implies it's more of a surrogate family situation (adopted? Step-family? A technicality doesn't matter much, she supposes), making boundaries harder to navigate. ]

Not to extra-insensitively jump on your business or anything--but if you're somebody's family, make it really clear to them, because it changes the boundaries a lot. Especially with a kid who might be expecting that if he storms off or gets upset, you'll give up.

[fuckvampires]

I have to wonder if that's what he wants. I don't know, I remember being a shitty ass kid, but I don't remember a lot of my reasoning at the time.