(no subject)

[paperworkprodigy]

All I want is one day without something horrifying trying to invade or devour large sections of the British Isles. Or at least one day where that's not my problem. Is that too much to ask?

Comments

[asthedrivensnow]

I can't think of anything quite so large; examples?

[paperworkprodigy]

Oh, you know, we just got done dealing with the guys who, for example, turn into large cubes of flesh with tentacles and devour police stations, and now I'm told there's some kind of, I don't know, giant bird thing in rural Ireland that's flying off with farmhouses.

Never a dull moment.

[asthedrivensnow]

Ooh, I didn't know there were rocs in Ireland.

[paperworkprodigy]

Well, they're not supposed to be there, I guess. Some idiot probably found one as a baby and decided to keep it as a pet, and then moved up there. Or maybe found two of them, since we think there's at least six of them, now.

[asthedrivensnow]

Marvellous. I daresay someone felt leprechauns and banshees weren't enough of a tourist draw.

[paperworkprodigy]

I'm still trying to figure out why in God's name anyone would decide it was a great idea to adopt a giant crow thing. At least we've got more manpower to deal with it, now.

[asthedrivensnow]

Some people are inordinately fond of large, dangerous creatures. He - and I'm sure it's a he - is probably breeding them for what he thinks is the sheer joy of it. [Lunacy. Her opinion colours her tone.]

[paperworkprodigy]

And meanwhile, completely oblivious to the fact that they're eating his neighbors. People do seem to get a kick out of poking at things that they don't entirely understand.

Of course, sometimes it works out for the better—[She smiles a little bit, thinking of the new additions to their forces—some of the Grafters are bugfuck insane, but they're a lot nicer to have on the Checquy's side than the alternative.]—but most of the time Things Man Was Not Meant to Know really are supposed to be that way.

[asthedrivensnow]

It's that streak of invincibility that pops up in Leos. And Gryffindors.

At the very least, you'd think they'd have made an effort to keep them properly hidden.

[paperworkprodigy]

What the hell is a Gryffindor? [Flipping hastily through her thick purple binder, in case that's some annoyance she missed reading up on.] Though I suppose I'd be out of the job if everyone just sat down, shut up, and twiddled their thumbs quietly.

[asthedrivensnow]

[...bollocks. Zero for two, Cissa, failing at identification.]

Nothing important.

What do you do, precisely?

[paperworkprodigy]

I guess I'd say I'm in government as high-level management. That's probably the best way to put it.

[She's clearly not from the Checquy, but she does seem to know about all this supernatural bullshit. Still, though...]

[asthedrivensnow]

Ah, so nothing much at all.

[comewither]

Given your tone, I'm gonna say yeah. Probably is.

[paperworkprodigy]

I do like the job, and it does have its perks, but I wouldn't mind a slow day now and again. Oh, well. Toblerone?

[She produces a chocolate bar and offers it.]

[comewither]

Uh, sure, thanks.

[How could she turn down chocolate, anyway.]

Pays well, though, does it?

[paperworkprodigy]

Like you wouldn't believe. Specifically, before I... took the job, I guess you could say, I was told the salary would be "beyond imagining" and lemme tell you, they delivered on that. I guess it's compensation for not really having a choice, hah.

[comewither]

Ah, the mythical salary. I'd given up believing it was true.

[paperworkprodigy]

It can all be yours! For the low, low price of signing your life away to the government and a ninety-five percent chance that you will die on the job!

[comewither]

Perhaps I can entice you to the wonderful world of freelancing? It's great. Live in cheap hotels, feast on shitty bar food! Best part is, the mortality rate's the same!

Nah, for real though. Everybody's got their plus and minuses.

[paperworkprodigy]

I suppose so; such is life on the weird side of the world. For my part, I don't think being raised at a cross between the school from X-Men and a military academy did Thom—er, me, a whole lot of favors toward being a functional human being. Ah, at least looking back now, it's a lot clearer to me. Yeah.

[Really, at some point she's got to figure out exactly which parts of her life she's going to think of as hers and which she's going to think of as Thomas's and stick to it.]

[comewither]

...That sounds awesome.

[okay, it probably wasn't but her school days were shitty.]

[paperworkprodigy]

God, we should have traded. I'd be glad to take a pass on the compulsory being-awake-at-six every day.

[comewither]

Oh, I'd fight that tooth and nail. I'd probably have gotten suspended less in X-Men school, but who knows. Maybe I'd just make records.

[paperworkprodigy]

Probably why they start the indoctrination young. All of my classmates had been there since they were born—I was the only one who started late.

You know, I think I would have liked you as a classmate. [She smiles wryly.]

[comewither]

[she laughs]

Don't be so sure of that, I was a pretty intense kid. Funny what you learn to let go when you get older.

Or at least, how to channel violence effectively.